A ray of sunshine

Hello again! I am hoping that this update is somewhat less depressing than the last couple… and that maybe, just maybe, I'm over my little breakdown. Fingers crossed! 

One daily bonus is the Moomin cutlery! Like, who knew you could get Moomin cutlery?! Also, where do I get some from? 

So, here's some strange things I have noticed in my (almost) two weeks here;
* Many French people like to speak English with an American accent. I can only assume that they watch a lot of American films and television. Who knows?
* It is pushing impossible to find something as simple as body spray. You know, like Impulse or something just to freshen up. So during the hot weather I gave up and just resigned myself to the fact that I will smell better when it's cold…
* Personally, I think the postal system is weird. Why wouldn't you have a number on your house? I don't get it.
* People here don't actually have to know French. There are so many nationalities here that they essentially give up and all speak English. That's great for them, but I'm a strong believer that if you chose to live in a country, you really ought to make some attempt to learn the language.
* Discipline is VERY different here. Like, non-existent (unless that's just here) 
* People are not polite. Only tourists are polite. Barely anyone even smiles. You'd think that if you had enough money to buy a couple of houses here and there, you'd have more to smile about. Apparently not. 

I was forced to build this monstrosity. 

I wish I could say I did it on my own, as that would've been infinitely easier than the reality of building a basketball hoop with a child. A child whose mother came out to look at the finished product and criticise the methods. Wonderful esteem booster that was! 

Anyways, after the day from hell (I shall call it woeful Wednesday) I met Hannah! Thank the lord for poor Hannah, who had to absorb all of my problems like an overwhelmed sponge. However, I really appreciated 

a. meeting a likeminded person, who actually listened to me and showed interest in what I had to say
b. talking to an adult, rather than a 9 year old boy.
c. spending time out of the house, regardless of the appalling weather and our inability to communicate efficiently in French. 

So thank you Hannah. Truly and sincerely, thank you. I don't think you realise how much you helped me today. It is often when we are faced with hardship, that a little sunshine breaks through the clouds to light up a gloomy day. Today, Hannah was my little ray of sunlight.

Hard times

Day eleven I cracked. I cried like I've not cried in a long time. I had an overwhelmingly bad day where I felt more alone than I've ever felt before. Everything seemed stacked against me, getting ready to see me fail. I'm not as brave or as strong as people might think I am. Right now, I feel weak and stupid and like I just want to go home. But I know I can't, and that makes everything worse. I want to be at home with my mum, drinking tea and watching Emmerdale in my pyjamas. I want to be near to people who care about me, rather than virtual strangers who show little or no interest. I'm genuinely cut up about not getting my parcels from mum, even though it's only silly things it was from home and that's the only place I currently want to be. Nobody knows where those parcels have gone and no one wants to help me find them. It sounds silly, but I just want to smell my mum's washing liquid, just so I can feel a little bit closer to her, if only for a short while. I really hope it gets easier because I'm about ready to give up…

The only positive was going to Rackam caffe to listen to some absolutely wonderful music. Like, the musicians were so talented that I was in awe of them. I'd love to go back there. If there's one thing I really do like to do, it's listen to live music!

Wandering...wondering

While I'm sat here looking after other people's kids that won't listen to me, my mind wanders to the surrogate babies I left behind. I wonder if mummies are starting to get sad at the thought of their babies starting school so soon. I think of how much I miss them and whether I made the right choice by leaving. I'm excited to see all of the stereotypical first day pictures, stood in front of the front door in their brand new uniforms, but can't help but wish I was there to look through the window at them or give them all big cuddles. I think of how, in only a few months, they will be so different from when I last saw them. They will be bigger, brighter, more intelligent and much more tired! It is indescribable, the way you feel about other people's children when you spend so much time with them. It is a certain kind of love and care that is very strange but oh so wonderful. The pride you feel when they achieve something, the pain and sadness you share when someone is unkind to them, the feeling of an unprovoked hug just when you needed it the most. It is these moments you cherish for all of eternity, even though those children will not remember you in a few months. 

For now, it is just the boy and I. The house is unusually quiet and we've managed to squeeze in a dinner as a ‘family of four.’ I fear it is the calm before the storm. When school comes next week, it'll be chaos. Chaos that a sleep deprived Sara is not quite ready for. Although, I did squeeze in a solitary trip to Carrefour to sneakily get some chocolate...

French television and French music is weird. I'll just leave this here.

I'm still waiting for the three parcels mum sent last week, but I don't think I'll need shorts by the time I get them! The weather is supposed to get cooler towards the end of the week, so hopefully I'll be less sweaty in the very near future. 

I'm currently sat waiting for a food delivery...and the cleaning lady...and the boy’s play date. So basically I'm not going anywhere today. Hooray

Busy busy busy

According to the family, we’re surrounded by people from Kuwait and Saudi Arabia that don't actually live here 95% of the time. Wouldn't it be nice to have an absolutely huge summer home? 

I've found some French books that a previous au pair left, so hopefully I won't have to buy any new ones! As well as that, I've found Me Before You by Jojo Moyes and have always wanted to read it. Hopefully I'll get the chance.

Day five I finished the princess castle (finally!) It only took two days. I think it looks pretty impressive, if I do say so myself! 

In the morning we went to a playground called Forestland which is great, but very expensive. The children easily spent the €50 they were given. Bare in mind, that was how much I brought with me to France…
I also got the chance to go out and eat an Indian with some other au pairs. Unfortunately, most of them are leaving soon so I'll have to try and find other friends.

Can we talk about what kind of heaven exists in the shape of double peanut butter Magnums?! YES YES YES!
Although there are some yummy things here, I really do miss semi skimmed milk. This family eat and drink so healthily, which something I'm not necessarily used to. And I'm sure I'll soon get bored of having pasta every.single.day.

Day six consisted of going food shopping...again. Having never been in a family of this size, I forget how much people can eat! We get through so much food trying to feed everyone, it's crazy.
In the afternoon, the two youngest and I played basketball for a while until their parents picked us up to go to Nyon. The family did a bit of swimming in Lake Geneva, while I stayed and watched the bags. It was another late night, we didn't eat until 9:30/10, which something would never happen at home!

Day seven we went to Geneva… when literally everything was shut. I'm not sure what the idea of that was but anyway. From what I saw, it's got very expensive shops (Dior, Rolex, Michael Kors) and is generally always very busy. We sat for a while in Parc des Bastions, where a group of people had a ‘Love Box’ that I'm intrigued about but too scared to ask. Day seven marks my first week living in France and boy has it felt like a long week! 

Hopefully next week is more relaxing!

Permanently exhausted pigeon

Permanently exhausted pigeon. 
Never in my life have I related to a meme more than I do this one.
I feel as though my body is, for some strange reason, desperate for me to not sleep at night, then complains all through the day about how tired it is. Hopefully I'll soon get out of this weird slump, although it probably won't be until the children go back to school (roll on 4th September, you can't come soon enough!)

Day four, still missing grandpa. He was such a hoot! 
I'm trying to spend a lot of time bonding with the children, but it's hard to get much out of them when you're surrounded by technology.
Mum came home for lunch, which was nice because I felt less lonely. It's awfully isolating being the only adult around for so many hours of the day. However, I managed to grate my finger and then later cut my thumb. Good start!
We went to Manor (basically a small shopping centre) so that I could get a feel for what is in the area. I've never been to a shop where they sell bikes, building materials and children's crafts within a few aisles of each other. It felt very strange. While we were there, an incredible looking patisserie caught my eye so I'll have to give that a try if I can get there!

Here's the view from my favourite breakfast spot first thing in the morning .

On a weird but potentially vital note, I can't be the only one who has an absolutely pristine washing machine at home? I put some washing on and when it had finished, I wiped inside the rubber, as my mum has always done at home, only to find heaps (and I mean HEAPS) of god knows what lurking beneath the surface. I'm adamant I'm not washing my clothes in it until it is clean. Also, what kind of person doesn't use softener?! I live for softener, otherwise everything is super hard and horrible. Plus, nobody irons. Weird. 
For dinner, I retried sushi and was very pleasantly surprised. I may be converted.
I'm pleased to say that I may potentially gain some friends soon, hooray! A girl I was briefly in contact with before I came here added me to a WhatsApp group for au pairs in Divonne. Hopefully, some of us can meet up for lunch or something, as I missed their evening drinks. I will also be starting a French course soon, which also seems to be a good place to meet other au pairs. 

Day five was eventful. I had pretty fresh croissants with runny, nutty chocolate spread (but the really good kind!) 
I bribed the kids to go to the park so that I could try and meet a few au pairs. I thought that I'd missed them because I was so late, but just as we were leaving a lovely girl approached me. Unfortunately, she's leaving in a month so I won't have much of a chance to get to know her. 
When we got back, I won the kiddos over with homemade tortilla pizzas. They really did go down a storm and the oldest one even wants to take one to school when she goes back. Win!

I'm slowly getting used to life here, but I doubt I will ever get used to the huge contrast between the derelict buildings and the absolutely enormous houses that stand beside them. It's so strange to see families flourishing while others clearly struggled. For example, there isn't an inch of this house that isn't clad in marble. Even the furniture is marble. I can't imagine ever having money like these people have money, it's crazy! Like, one of the neighbours employs a lady that basically does nothing but wander around all day. Although it's nice to experience, nothing could ever beat home for me.
I think the kids like me though, I just had a visit from the girls to say goodnight and to have a cuddle with the youngest. Good job so far! 

TMI warning: healthy diets make from very VERY unpleasant poos. Just saying.

Drained

What a crazy few days! So, I'm here and I'm already being run ragged. How can these children have so much energy?! 

So day one, this happened…

 

One hand is a sunset, the other the sea. How creative (and absurdly messy!)
Earlier in the day, I was taken on a tour of the town. It was market day, so ridiculously busy, but the food looked delicious. Nowhere else have I seen rotisserie chicken done outside! So cool.

Day two, I was put through the paces. (Why I chose a really fit family to au pair for is beyond me.)
The two girls, their grandpa and I went on a long bike ride to the lake and around it. I can't even describe how beautiful it is. Essentially we're slap bang in the middle of The Alps and the Jura mountains. Like, I can literally see Mont Blanc when I eat breakfast! 

                                         

 

Day three has been somewhat uneventful. One of the neighbours has a pool and they invited us all around, so I had a lovely time with the mum drinking tea. Unfortunately, I couldn't go swimming as Mother Nature had other plans for me. 

The one thing I have noticed is that late nights and early mornings seem to be a thing here and for someone who REALLY likes their sleep, I'm a little worried that I won't be able to keep up. 
I'm absolutely gutted that the grandparents have gone, because now I'm all alone. And for someone who only speaks Finnish, the grandad is a lot of fun. 

We will see what tomorrow brings...

Tired and hungry

Well that was emotional. I don't think that getting up at 2 in the morning helped the jitters, or driving myself to the airport and nobody having much clue where we were going. I conveniently had a packin crisis shortly before we left where my bag was too heavy and I had to sacrifice my dressing gown *cries ugly tears*

Nobody told me pretty much anything useful about flying. I could've probably done with a bit of advice before I set off for my first ever voyage into the great unknown. But here I am, sat at the airport, on my own, waiting to be called. This.is.terrifying!
I haven't been able to eat anything and I've had more than a few nervous poops (sorry tmi!) so now my stomach is rumbling like a beast but I can't be bothered to queue for ages for overpriced food.

My next update will be from Divonnes-les-Bains after I've had a much needed sleep (which can be sooner rather than later because they're an hour ahead - yay!)
I'll keep you all posted!

P.S thank you to anyone who got me a card or present, I really appreciate that! Especially this beast...

Organised chaos

As most of you know, this will be my last week in England. On Sunday, I set sail (fly) to start my new adventure in France. To my surprise, I'm actually pretty chilled (so far) and have created multiple lists of things to take and stuff to sort out before I go. I've even shown dad around Harold (my car) so that he knows how to fill him up with petrol, as he's a very special machine to me and I have reluctantly allowed dad to drive him while I'm away!

Since my last blog, a lot has happened. As I still feel a bit guilty for abandoning mum, I thought I'd treat her to a day out for her birthday. Somewhere she's always longed to go to: Althorp House. We had a bit of a titter in the car because I royally messed up  the directions (no pun intended) and we ended up in a completely random spot. When we eventually did get there, I wondered why on earth there were tonnes of people waiting outside. Turns out it doesn't open until midday and I had failed to read that small print on the website. After much waiting around (and dancing around, I was desperate for a wee) we were let in. Hoorah! On entry I saw these beauties in the next field. Man I freakin' love deer! Apologies for the atrocious picture, I am not skilled in this department.

Cracking on with the tour, I think it's safe to say that all three of us felt choked up in the Diana exhibit. The pictures in there are the last 12 professional photographs taken before she died and you can't help being hit with sadness. She was a wonderful woman and it's clear to see how much she meant to people. Her final resting place is beautiful, hidden right in the centre of a small lake where it's peaceful and undisturbed.

I can only hope mum enjoyed her birthday as much as I did (minus the old bat that made a hash of the house tour.) 

After Althorp House, I marched her into Northampton to get her nose pierced, as I was tired of hearing about how much she wanted it done. She seems like a happy little bunny here, so I think I did good.

Next on the agenda was Baileybear's birthday. How inconsiderate of her to be born precisely 3 days (and a few years) after mum! 

After much deliberation (and our previous plan falling through) we settled on going to Stratford. Let me just say that driving there was interesting, as I was praying the sat nav didn't ruin the surprise. It didn't, Katie didn't realise where we were going until we were nearly there. Result!

Off we trotted for a chilled out day fit for a grandma, or three. First, we went back in time to The Fourteas (40's lol pun) for afternoon tea. Holy mother of God, that stuff was gooooooood. 

There's some lovely pictures at the café, everyone looks pleased as punch. Here's me when I got home (Trigger warning, I look much less polished)

I'm expecting an influx of modelling agencies to contact me any day now!

All in all, Stratford gave us heavenly food, stunning weather and free chocolates at Jo Malone. My weak bladder made another appearance, this time at the very beginning of a 40 minute boat cruise, very convenient timing! I was about ready to drop my pants and pee over the side of the boat. The only reason I didn't was for fear of plunging into the water, naked butt first, getting chopped up by boat propellers or drowning.

This dog had a much more stress free experience, I am most jealous.

Once I relieved my bladder, we made our way home. I provided some car-based entertainment by profusely shouting at my car to phone my mum, so hard that I got a headache. This was made funnier by the fact it put me through at THE MOST inconvenient time. So there I was, mum was on loudspeaker and I was going up a nearly vertical hill in second gear, while Katie and Megan were trying desperately not to wet themselves laughing at me. 

*
Side note

While all of this was going on, Tash had entrusted me to care for her animals. 

WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER I AM NOT GOOD WITH ANIMALS!? 

Put in brief, I made friends with the cat and the guinea pig tried to slit my throat. 

Happy days.

It's all swings and roundabouts. 

*

Then came the wet Wednesday of winners, where a few of the nursery family got together and caused havoc in the Scout hut for a couple of hours. It was so lovely to see them all again, for what was potentially the last time *wipes tears from eye*

I laugh now at how naive we all were to think that the English summer weather would be kind to us. However, it was all made better with sugary foods and lots of laughs. I will sincerely miss all of you, especially the small humans. 

Thanks for the pictures Laura! 😭😭😭

Last but not least, an update on the Skype situation. Just when I thought we were getting somewhere my mum pulls this stunt.

Don't ask why or what or how, I don't have the answers. All I know is we need much more practice than I first thought. God bless technophobes.