Holy guacamole!
So I managed to get all that stuff done on Friday (I haven't got a clue how, there are not enough hours in the day.)
Ever since my visit from Jess, I've felt more myself. I'm happier and I am determined to make the absolute most of this 10 months.
It's amazing how talking absolute crap with one of your oldest friends can uplift you like nothing else. It wasn't until Jess came that I realised, maybe I'm actually settling here. After spending over a month here already, this life is becoming the norm. It's mad. When I first got here and was more miserable than I've ever been in my life, I never imagined being in the place I am now. I can't deny, I'm really happy.
Staying up late Friday night was a BAD idea. Especially when you have to wake at an ungodly hour that is cold and dark. Saturday was the ‘Cows, Chocolate and Cheese’ event, organised by Link. I've got to love getting up at 5:30am to be in Nyon for 7:30am.
First, we watched the Desalpes in Charmey. This is when the farmers bring the herds down from the mountains, through the village and to the fields. The cows were decorated (weird) and people seem to live for this festival. People were genuinely shoving other people out of the way so that they could see these cows. I felt like saying, they're just cows, cows are cows…
We got a little bored watching a load of cows walking about, so decided to see what the stalls had to offer. Two words. Free cheese. I tried so much cheese on these stalls, that I could've put them out of business!
Moving on to the chocolate factory…
I swear I'm going to get married in that place (wink wink nudge nudge Meta and Paula.) The amount of chocolate I was cramming in, you'd think I'd been deprived. Side note: totally not deprived, I'm sure you've seen my stash.
I can't lie, the cheese factory was a little disappointing. You got barely any free cheese (always thinking of my stomach) and the churns weren't even on! Absolute cop out.
After the ‘cheese factory’, we were pretty much free to roam for a bit. I'd be interested to know what the angle of that slope up to the centre was, because when you've spent a full day on your feet, a hill is definitely not what you want to see…
I have to say, I wasn't disappointed with the old town. The souvenir shops were a tad odd though. Never before have I seen miniature toothpaste, woolly hats and novelty condoms on the same shelf. Anyone who buys a condom with a phrase on it that endorses rape is not my kind of human being.
While everyone else was spending 18.50CHF on soup, Kee, Paula and I pigged out in absolute crap food and sandwiches I made (top wife material here.) This free time meant that we got chance to see the Alien bar, which we incredible. My only regret is that we didn't have time to have a drink there.
If you think that coming home meant the end of my binge eating, it did not. Between deep conversations with my Spanish señorita, I managed to eat every single free piece of food I received that day on the bus journey home. Boy, did I regret that! Someone is going to have to roll me back to England…
Sunday comes around, the binge eating continues. I managed to get four or five hours sleep before I had to get up for my Sunday morning ‘tutoring’. I use the term tutoring loosely, because it consisted of a little bit of reading and a whole lot of dressing up. I seem to be finding myself in clothes for four year olds far too often…nursery ladies, you know what I'm talking about #dragongate
According to this lad, I am officially a pirate, assisting him on his quest to defeat the whales with horns. It's an incredible feeling when you know a child finally likes you, they make it pretty obvious. This week, he got in a massive huff because his dad told him I had to go, right in the middle of an intense battle. He was not impressed!
After that, I heading to the market again to buy a load of food. A coconut and Nutella crêpe was my first victim, closely followed by a massive taco and many, many churros.
A group of us spent the whole day at the lake, just enjoying each other's company while we still can. Paula brought a slackline to attach to the trees and I swear I became a woman possessed. The desperation I felt to master this slackline was ridiculous. After many attempts, I managed about four steps before I plummeted to the floor. It's not great but it's four better than nothing! I'm half tempted to buy one, just so that I can look like a complete prat in public.
I've made a start on the macarons I bought at the market. Damn they are good.
Orange chocolate, double chocolate and salted caramel. Need I say any more? I think my 5 lb weight gain since I got here is only going to increase…never mind!
On Tuesday, I screwed up. I screwed up big time.
So the plan originally was as follows:
Do all of my washing
Retrieve the youngest from school to eat lunch
Return her to school
Go on a hike on the mountain behind my house
Let's just say that the weather had other ideas for us. As soon as we set foot outside, it chucked it down. Not exactly the ideal weather for hiking up a mountain. Ellen hadn't even brought a coat, so she was soaking wet. We quickly decided to abandon the idea of walking anywhere. Obviously, when we parted ways the weather perked up and the sun shone...just my luck. Due to the fact I was already on my way into town, I went to visit Kee with a bag full of crappy food to share. As per usual, I spent too long there and didn't manage to pick the boy up on time. I'm unsure whether it was a positive or a negative that the host dad was at home. On one hand, if his dad wasn't there, I could've paid him off with sweets and that would've been that. But on the other hand, he would've been standing in the rain for 5/10 minutes before I arrived and he probably wouldn't have taken a bribe. I seem to have somehow avoided getting an absolute bollocking for this, although the host parents have been a bit weird with me ever since...
Skipping ahead to Thursday, I had another french lesson. Ignoring the fact that I'm verging on clinically fatigued, I did okay. Hopefully, that means I'm not as thick as I thought I was! I've downloaded an app to help me practice at home, so fingers crossed that helps. The plan after that was to try again with the hiking. There are some amazing hikes around here allegedly, but I have yet to find the time to do one. Again, our plans were scuppered by the limited time frame I had (don't want to forget the boy again!) Instead, I opted to go home for a banana and chocolatey croissant (no pun intended.) After filling a small hole in my stomach, Ellen and I went for a few laps around the lake.
We were eventually joined by Kee, who kindly proceeded to transport me to Carrefour so that I could buy the unreasonable amount of shopping the host family had requested. I don't know how I'm supposed to carry all of their shopping home on my own… Unfortunately, my tight timescale meant that the host mums bike is currently locked away in a garage that isn't ours. Hopefully, she won't notice…
Friday means another trip to Carrefour, because apparently I'm incapable of reading a list. At least the journey is somewhat picturesque I suppose.
This time, I opted to walk, in the hope that I can start shedding the 5lbs I have apparently gained while I've been here. I can't say I'm surprised, when my diet consists mainly of pasta and pizza, but basically my waistline has no hope. My theoretical plan involves eating better and doing more exercise, however I know myself and I am aware of how long this rule will last.
So, in one afternoon I need to buy food for my Gruyère trip, get some francs, bake a cake, collect all of children, help with some homework, cook dinner, shower then meet my beloved Jess. Basically, I need to be superwoman. We shall see how effectively I manage this...
Bonjour mes amis.
Good news, the oldest girl has returned. Sadly though, my sanity has not. She gave me the most fitting gift: a stress relieving stone.
The girl gets me, she understands that her siblings are chaos in the form of children. I think she even sympathises, as she's disclosed to me her desire to be an only child. Unfortunately, I can't really assist her in that. I can only ease her suffering slightly by trying to spend some one on one time with her.
I have learned in my time here that what mum doesn't know, doesn't hurt her. My host mum is so anti-ketchup that her kids have developed small internal fires, only satisfied by the dreaded red stuff. So, when the youngest came home for lunch and said she wanted a volcano for lunch, she damn well got one! Who am I to quash her creativity?
This week, my birthday packages came from the angels that are Megan and Katie. It was easy to ignore their tardiness when I opened them up to see this sweet, sugary splendour. I genuinely think this euphoria is close to what one would feel in heaven. Let's just say, I'm sure I should have enough food to keep me going until I leave next July!
Friday night and few of my favourite people and I hit Geneva...eventually. My maps led us astray, so we arrived a little later than expected. The choice of venue: a ‘pub’ called Queen Victoria, who were hosting a karaoke night. Did I participate? Hell yeah I did and I'm not remotely ashamed to admit that I was stone cold sober for the entire time (okay, well maybe I am a little.) Basically, this is what happened.
The songs of choice were;
Mark Ronson - Valerie
Beyoncé - Love On Top
Black Eyes Peas - Where Is The Love
At the end of the night, those of us being starved of real food at home required something unhealthy, greasy, but oh so good. McDonald's. Unfortunately, I was still full after my pizza and chips, so I couldn't indulge in those deliciously crispy chicken nuggets. I was devastated that I'd missed my (potentially) only chance to eat a McDonald’s, but as soon as I can I'm coming for ya Maccies!
Saturday was uneventful. I was dragged out to go shopping in an Outlet shopping centre where things were still expensive because, well, Switzerland. I'm experiencing very different definitions of cheap here, so have started using the terms ‘English cheap’, ‘France cheap’ and ‘Switzerland cheap’ to distinguish what exactly I mean. For example, English cheap is my £5 Primark jumper or my 30p jeans. France cheap is €10 for a pizza. Now, Switzerland’s cheap is everyone else's expensive. Switzerland cheap is 20CHF for a tiny burger and 3 fries.
Something I did find interesting was this sticker that reads ‘Warning: this product contains dehp. A phthalate chemical, lead and other chemicals known to the state of California to cause cancer, birth defects and other reproductive harm.’ Fantastic, I'll take the lot!
The oldest girl also enjoyed trying on these bad boys (side note: this is the one who plays football and lives in football shirts, shorts or tracksuit bottoms.)
Saturday evening, I was joined by the oldest girl for Snapchat pictures and sausage rolls, in the metaphorical sense. I'm not sure actual sausage rolls would make it past the front door.
A - because health and crap
B - because if I caught wind of a sausage roll in a radius of 2 miles, it would immediately be inhaled by me, sorry neighbours!
On Sunday morning, I started my job on the side. Every week, just for an hour, I get to spend time with a sweet, yet stroppy, 4 year old boy. Essentially, I get paid €15 per week to play with and read to this boy. This time, we made a farm with lots of animals inside, who needed all kinds of different things. They all needed food and water, but the ducks and frogs needed a pond and because the frog was disproportionate to the other animals, he needed quite a sizeable amount of water, which took up a lot of space in the barn.
I hope that we will continue to get on with each other, because I'd hate to stop going. They have only recently moved here and they think it would be good for him to have some sort of stability in who is tutoring him and when. On a completely selfish note, who doesn't want extra money at the end of the month?
After my early start, I headed out to the market, because I absolutely refuse to spend all weekend at home. Boy is that market good! If I go there every Sunday, I'm going come home either diabetic or obese (or both.) The rest of my day consisted of eating and eating and eating on a bench by the lake, with two of my loves - Meta and Kee. It's funny how the simplest of days can be so fulfilling. All I need is food and friends for a happy life.
P.S the eating didn't stop when I got home. As soon as I set foot in the door, I was straight back out again, going to the all-you-can-eat buffet in Versoix that charges you extra if you don't finish everything on your plate. Quite frankly, it would have been rude of me not to stuff myself to the brim, you pay good money for that food and I'm not going to waste the opportunity!
Today (Monday) has so far consisted of me waking up two very unimpressed boys early on their day off, nearly being late to drop off the youngest girl at school and being vacant in my French lesson due to my hectic morning and lack of sleep.
For this week I will simply say, on y va!
