To au pair or not to au pair?

Bonjour from France! 
I thought I might compile something useful this week, to interrupt the mundane weekly blog and impart some ‘wisdom’ upon anyone who wants to become an au pair. 
Hopefully, these top tips will help you (or terrify you!) 

Before you go
If you’re thinking about taking the plunge and moving abroad, there are some things you really need to consider. 
Where do you want to go and why? What are your reasons for wanting to live there, rather than just go on holiday? It might be to learn a language, experience a different culture or even just to meet new people, but it’s worth ascertaining what you want to get out of your time as an au pair. 

Something I regret is not taking enough time to consider my options and my desires. On reflection, my decision to come here was entirely rushed. I read an article on Facebook about cheap ways to travel and suddenly I blinked and had 143 families on AuPairWorld asking me to work for them. 
Once you’ve decided on what country you want to go to, it’s worth having a think about what area you want to live in. On the website I used, you can filter places on whether they’re in a big city, small town or countryside and you can even type in the area you’re looking for. It’s worth properly researching the area and asking about transport links, local amenities and generally anything that’s important to you. 
If you sign up to a website, you have to create an interesting profile that will grab families. I chose photos that represented my personality (they were a little kooky, maybe that’s why there was so much interest.) You should list any experience you have with children and whatever relevant qualifications you might have. Before you start talking with families, make a list of things that are important to you. This could be anything, from having access to a car to how much free time you want. I didn’t even think about asking for a car, which was a huge mistake because I live just far enough away from everything for it to be inconvenient to walk. We live and we learn. 
When you’re communicating with families, make sure their expectations of you are clear and you’re confident that you are a good fit for them. Absolutely don’t just choose the first family you find, good things come to those who wait (and research.) You need to ask about your working hours, salary, their schedule and your living arrangements. It’s one heck of a shock to live in a foreign country and in a stranger's house, so you need to mentally prepare for that as best you can. 
When it comes to actually travelling, who is paying for the flight? I paid for mine, but I know a few au pairs whose host families flew them over. It wasn’t so bad for me, because a flight from Luton to Geneva is virtually nothing. I feel bad for anyone coming from further afield! 

Preparing to travel
When it comes to clothes, you’re best to have a look at what the weather is like or ask your host family. I was in contact with one of my host family's old au pairs, who kindly informed me that it isn’t as cold as I thought it would be. Thank god really, because the heat was unreal when I got here! 
Weight limits on flights are not your friend. I chose 20kg, not realising that it was basically nothing and I’d struggle to fit my worldly goods in one bag. Do a bit of research and compare prices of different airlines and see their weight restrictions. It’s worth paying for more luggage, because then you have one less thing to worry about. 
Find out whether there are lots of au pairs in the area or other opportunities to meet people. It’s vital that you make friends so that you don’t feel isolated and hate your time as an au pair.

When you arrive
Get out there! Go to the local pub/bar, join a class, learn the language by doing a course. There are so many ways to meet people and you won’t know unless you try. Even if you just find one good friend, it will make all the difference.

 

Establish the relationship with your host family. Obviously you picked them because you clicked with one another, but meeting them in person is an entirely different story. You will start to notice subtle (and not so subtle) differences in culture, discipline and schooling, to name but a few. It’s essential that you have good communication from the offset, so that your feelings are made clear and you can talk to each other about any problems. In my first two weeks in France I was so unhappy that I nearly made plans to go back home. However, when I sat myself down and really thought about it, going home would have proved everyone who doubted me right. That was something I definitely wasn’t going to allow. So I wrote down my feelings in a letter, thanking my host family for giving me the experiences they did and outlining a few things I was having trouble with. After they read it, we had a chat about what they could do to help make my time here more enjoyable. Things seemed to fall into place after that and it was much easier getting up in the mornings. 
Of course, not every au pair connects with their family, and that is okay too. There are so many options for you if that happens. Before you find another family or go home though, consider what exactly it is that you’re not enjoying and decide whether it’s something you could learn to live with or not. For example, imagine that you move in with a super healthy family, but you’re not used to eating like them. You could see it as a positive opportunity to improve your health, or just get a stash of goodies in your bedroom! 

Whether you’re an au pair for 3 months or three years, the main thing to take care off is you. Don’t put anyone else's needs above yours, otherwise they may take advantage of your kindness and generosity, stopping you from experiencing all that you want to. 
And remember, sometimes perseverance is power. If even a tiny part of you is interested in becoming an au pair, look into it. It might just be the best thing you ever do!